Confessions Of A Sex Ed Teacher

Publisher’s Note: The 35th anniversary of Roe v. Wade got Pam Steinle
in our office thinking and reflecting on the current state of the law
and how she had to apply that in a classroom. Pretty provocative stuff.
We’re lucky to have Pam around until next August, when she’ll have to
choose between one of several fine Minnesota law schools (which have
offered her full-ride scholarships). Thoughts about injecting stories
like Pam’s into PIM should be sent to sarah@politicsinminnesota.com.

Confessions Of A Sex Ed Teacher

By Pam Steinle

I was 25, I was an eighth grade sex education teacher, and I liked it.

I liked it for several reasons. First, I realize that it is somewhat of
a gift to be able to teach classroom sex education without blushing,
giggling or mumbling. My friends were appalled that I could talk to 25
eighth graders about sexual intercourse - my dear, that is nothing
compared to explaining, without using slang, what anal sex is and how
it puts you at risk for sexually transmitted infections (click here for the answer).

Second, I understood the importance of my job. Sad as it may be, I was
the first and only adult who talked to some of these students about
sex. The rest of their information came from the movies (we can all
agree that the quality of sex in movies is the exception, not the
norm), from their video games (click here to read the perspective of one speaker at the 2006 Sex in Video Games Conference - and FYI, she’s for sex in video games, click here
for more on the recent controversy surrounding the video game "Mass
Effect.") from their peers (urban legends abound: did you know you
can’t get pregnant if you "do it" standing up?), and from the Internet
(there are some informational sites, like Go Ask Alice, but probably more porn - and no, I didn’t forget the link to that one).

Third, I am anti-abortion, and I believed that as a sex education
teacher I could help reduce the number of abortions. This was my
thought process: in order to reduce abortions, I need to reduce
unwanted pregnancies. To reduce unwanted pregnancies, I need students
to understand what behaviors might result in pregnancy. Those of you
who passed your sex education class know that unprotected sex among
healthy people eventually results in babies. Those of you who have had
condoms break or pills fail know that protected sex among healthy
people also carries a risk of having babies.

It would be great if all students said they would wait until they were
married to procreate, but as it is many will not. I believed my job was
to give them the facts about pregnancy, allow them to decide (with
emphasis on considering their values, their parents’ opinions, etc.)
how much risk they were willing to take on, and then help them manage
that risk. Some students decide to wait for moral reasons; some decide
to wait until they are in a long-term relationship; some decide they
want to start next week but will use birth control (sexually
transmitted infections are also discussed as a risk).

Imagine my despair, when I discovered that abortion is not to be discussed in the classroom.

It came about my second year teaching in a Minnesota school district. A
concerned parent wanted to know how I would address abortion. I told
the parent that I define abortion for students, and explain the
procedures of suction curettage and dilation and evacuation (D &
E). When explaining abortion procedures, I considered the students’
need for factual information with their maturity, and thus explained
suction curettage as the ending of a pregnancy by placing a vacuum over
the cervix, and D & E as cutting the contents of the uterus so it
can be vacuumed out.

The parent argued that defining abortion was too gruesome for eighth
grade students to handle, and that if asked I should respond, "Go home
and talk to your parents about it." I was appalled. How could anyone
think that informing students of facts was detrimental? So I went to my
school’s administration, who responded that abortion was not to be
discussed. If a student asked me what abortion was (in my experience,
someone always asked), I was to respond, "it is a medical termination
of a pregnancy."

Wow. It hadn’t ever occurred to me that explaining a medical procedure
in simple terms was such a no-no. Through conversations with other
teachers, I noticed a generational gap. Teachers in their twenties and
thirties supported me. Teachers in their forties, fifties and sixties
argued that abortion shouldn’t be addressed in school, particularly
this rural school (and yes, the administration is in the latter age
range).

I was even more surprised that, when I mentioned this generation gap, I
was told by two different middle-aged adults that they were offended
and insulted that I had suggested their opinions might be linked to
their age.

A year later, I am no longer a teacher (for many other reasons besides the aforementioned issue). As I read the "Abortion and a New Generation" post by MPR’s Bob Collins, and his links from the New York Times and the LA Times, the memories of my teaching days abound.

Statistically, abortion opinions are linked to age. The LA Times
article said the "Pew Research Center polls dating back a decade show
that 18- to 29-year olds are consistently more likely than the general
adult population to favor strict limits on abortion. A Pew survey over
the summer found 22% of young adults support a total ban on abortion,
compared with 15% of their parents’ generation."

I identified with several points in the New York Times
article, particularly those relating to sex education. A student in the
article states, "Abortion isn’t an issue, because getting pregnant
isn’t such a prevalent problem among my peers," and later the article
says some parents attribute their teenagers’ anti-abortion views to
abstinence-only sex ed programs that demonize abortion.

I did not teach abstinence-only, but did I demonize abortion? I was
careful to refer to embryos (as opposed to babies) in the classroom; I
didn’t tell students that abortion "tears the arms and legs off," as
the New York Times
reported of a sex ed program that was later modified for being overly
graphic. I attempted to teach abortion without being political - but my
elders deemed my attempt political nonetheless.

Hmm. Abortion makes those sex questions look pretty easy…

No Responses to “Confessions Of A Sex Ed Teacher”

1. vicki Says:
   January 30th, 2008 at 9:53 am

   Pam . . . always insightful, always passionate, always bluntly honest. I love it. Nice article.
   I’m proud of you, not just today, but even when the whole sex-ed thing was going down at the school.
   Keep up the good work.
   Your biggest fan,
   Vicki

2. wrubrecht Says:
   January 30th, 2008 at 3:15 pm

   Ms. Steinle,

   Very well written; I appreciate your perspective on sex education from an anti-abortion viewpoint. I’m pro-choice and wish more anti-abortion folks had your level-headedness and respect for kids as people and not political pawns.

   As a card-carrying gamer, though, I take issue with your pointing to the Mass Effect kerfuffle as representative of the portrayal of sex in video games. The article you linked, in particular, is misrepresentative of the nature of sex in video games in general and the nature of sex in Mass Effect in particular. This article in the New York Times provides a more balanced perspective.

   Your point, of course, stands: kids need non-political facts about sex from an adult educator, not from artistic media like movies and video games. I just hate to see bad news propagated through linkage.

   Thanks!

3. PamSteinle Says:
   January 31st, 2008 at 10:49 am

   Thanks for your comment!

   I agree. The New York Times article you posted would be more appropriate; I simply didn’t find it when writing this piece.

   Thanks again for taking time to post your link!

   Pam Steinle

4. PamSteinle Says:
   January 31st, 2008 at 10:51 am

   Thanks Vicki!

   - Pam Steinle

5. nick Says:
   May 29th, 2008 at 10:49 am

   I was just reading an article about sex ed and how some local government wanted to make the classes only about abstinence in sex ed id hate to think that they are so conservative they wouldn’t want their kids to know about sex when it’s a pretty important subject. It’s to bad escort agencies weren’t legal in this country in more areas like the rest of the world so that it wouldn’t be such a big deal.

6. rosesmith Says:
   September 14th, 2008 at 10:35 pm

   Yeah! It is very important discussion nowadays like how to avoid pregnancy. This topic really made me to realize the real facts of life and how we want to take care of our life carefully. Nowadays Sex education is must for the upcoming generation.
   ===============================
   rosesmith
   http://www.hookup-tonite.com

7. VLFrontz Says:
   January 11th, 2009 at 5:41 am

   Hello. I was just wondering if you could give me some information on how you became a Sex-Ed teacher. I have been passionate about pursuing this career path since middle school. During which time, I too, became aware of the lack of information available for students. Thus, I took it upon myself to educate myself and became a liaison to my friend for their questions on sex. I would love to talk to you about this more.

8. Anonymous Says:
   April 25th, 2009 at 12:41 pm

   I think that sex education should be taught at 6th six grade as that is when kids are getting curious and their hormones are raging. Online dating tips should be taken into the class room also as many young kids are hooking up online and having sex at very young ages.

9. Anonymous Says:
   April 27th, 2009 at 1:02 pm

   This is a great site the article has been very very helpful and i would recommend it, and some good points have been made here, this what blogging should be about.
   http://www.pizzle.co.uk